Dalkey Archives approached the 2025 instalment of the Handbags triangular tournament with unbridled confidence, having completed a historic season double over Chapelizod CC with a narrow 2-run victory in a high-scoring game only the day before. Our previous experiences with the northside team had been bruising bordering on abusive, so we approached this year’s Handbags with demons exorcized and hopes high.
Such is the depth of the current squad that elaborate plans were formulated to field 14 players across the 2 Handbags games. However, the best laid plans and the Archivists are never comfortable bedfellows at the best of times, and one wise head was heard to caution about unplanned absences and injuries.
And maybe an inkling of what was to come emerged with news that Captain Bennett had tweaked a hamstring against Chapelizod as soon as he started running with pads on. The perils of an insufficient warmup at a senior age. Although he subsequently managed to bat, bowl and field respectably enough, he was certainly not operating at 100% (a fact that perversely helped his normally wayword bowling). Uncertain as to whether he would be able to play the 2nd Handbags game, he primed Werner, who had been mysteriously selected for only the 1st game, to replace him in the 2nd if his leg didn’t hold up.
It was also agreed internally that Bennett would captain the first match and Reay the second. At least, that was the plan …
In the absence of any coins in pockets (the CBDC is coming!), Captain Bennett lost the bat toss with Merrion captain Tim, who elected to put Dalkey in to bat. A decision that Captain Bennett fully agreed with. Who needs a toss?
As Shailesh and Sajomon had been diligently practising in the nets, they were instantly nominated as opening batsmen. And they both hit the ground running with cleanly hit shots and aggressive running between the wickets. After 4 overs they had reached 26-0 against some quality Merrion bowling.
However, in the 5th over, the tall left-handed South African bowler Will extracted a bit of bounce from the wicket to get Shailesh caught behind for 9.
This only brought in Werner, the South African batsmen who had smashed the Dublin University Museum Players to all corners of Trinity in the final over on the previous Saturday. He was to be followed by Aussie Tan, a regular retiree, the promoted Hill and then the Indian duo of Supreeth and Ramam, who had both narrowly missed 50 against Chapelizod they day before. With such a heavy-hitting middle order, the Archivists were licking their lips and contemplating a total well north of 150 …
But plans have a habit of unravelling for the Archives.
After an assured start of 3 singles off his first 4 balls, Werner was inexplicably given run out by Umpire Taylor after running, apparently safely, to the non-striker’s end. It later transpired that Umpire Taylor had not even seen the incident, as his back had been turned at the crucial moment! In an extraordinary abrogation of the basic legal principle of impartiality, Taylor had in fact sought and followed the opinion of a “trusted” member of the opposition. Imagine the legal carnage and egregious miscarriages of justice that would have ensued if all judges had showed such deference to prosecuting barristers!
Square leg umpire Bennett was powerless to intervene. To his credit, the stoic Joburger summoned all his willpower to contain his fury and depart diplomatically with his dignity intact.
At the other end, Sajomon hit an extraordinary square cut for six on his way to an excellent retirement. The first of many, we mused …
Ably supported by the limpet-like Hill, No. 4 Tan crawled to a modest 11 off 18 balls with singles and only one 2, before being caught behind off the impressive Dhirendra. No. 6 Supreeth also underestimated the accurate quickie and was clean bowled for a silver duck in the same over while trying to repeat his big-hitting heroics at Chapelizod. Dalkey had slumped to 69-5 by the end of the 13th over. The run rate was acceptable, but the Archivist were running out of their normally reliable big guns.
Hopes that no. 7 Ramam would restore some semblance of order to the Dalkey innings were dashed by another Indian silver duck, as he holed out at deep long off off Nigel. Neither Ramam nor Supreeth had managed to carry their stupendous Chapelizod form into this game. And instead of amassing the assumed minimum of 80 runs, our big-hitting middle order quarter had been skittled for 14 runs!!
Suddenly all hopes rested on no.5 Hill and no. 8 Keatinge, making his first appearance of the season. They both fought bravely for survival, but at the cost of a declining run rate. However, when urged by Captain/Umpire Bennett to hit out or get out, Hill in particular was like a man transformed. Only the slow outfield denied him the boundaries that his newfound aggression and fine timing deserved. Keatinge was also picking off easy singles with some positive running, but soon overestimated his own pace between his wickets for an easy run out.
When Hill eventually departed caught hitting out for 16, Taylor came out to join Reay in the 17th over Dalkey were only on 86 and in desperate need of quick runs. The ever-enthusiastic Aussie promptly pulled a calf muscle and hobbled off.
To be replaced by a limping Bennett accompanied by his runner Tan. With time running out, the Englishman hit only the 3rd boundary of the Dalkey innings off his first ball with a firmly hit sweep off the returning Dhirendra. Conscious of the need for quick runs, Reay comically ran himself out and it looked as if the Dalkey innings was all over. But who was this gloveless figure staggering out to the wicket? None other than the injured Taylor heroically returning to the fray. On his way to the wicket, he even had the smarts to recruit the departing Reay as his runner!
And so 4 Dalkey batsmen took up their respective positions at the stumps and square leg (yes, it was complicated!). Taylor’s reputation as a reckless runner at the best of times suggested an imminent and inevitable runout. However, despite the farcical circumstances, the imposed division of duties actually worked in Dalkey’s favour, as it defused the destructive capabilities of Taylor and outsourced critical decision-making to players with calmer heads who were entirely focused on running. In other words, Bennett and Taylor could enjoy the fun part of hitting the ball, albeit on one leg each, while delegating the more menial task of running between the wickets to their loyal batmen. And somehow it worked, as the last pair safely saw out the last 4 overs and hauled Dalkey to 107, not a bad total on such a slow outfield.
Needless to say, as all 4 batsmen returned to the pavilion, Reay announced that he too had pulled a muscle, while running for Taylor!
The Dalkey innings
With no physio in their ranks (where’s the great Mike Monaghan when you need him?), Bennett and Reay decided to soldier on and ask Merrion Captain Tim to allow the bystanding Deepak to replace Taylor as a non-bowling fielder. Wicket-keeping duties would be rotated between Supreeth and Ramam in order to allow both players to bowl their allotted 2 overs.
Dalkey started well, with Nigel falling caught behind off Tan for a bronze duck in the first over. Thereafter, the Merrion innings was a lot less dramatic and more predictable than the preceding farce. Gerry scored loads of runs on the leg side, the whole team batted deep and Dalkey dropped a few catches. Such was the speed of Merrion’s progress to their target that Captain Bennett had to turn prematurely to his intended death bowlers Reay and Shailesh. But it was a little too late, as Merrion sauntered to victory with 10 balls to spare. Tan, Werner and Shailesh had been the pick of the Dalkey bowlers, but it was probably the difference in the middle order performances that swung the match Merrion’s way.
The Merrion innings
To top it off, Dalkey’s substitute fielder Deepak had also incurred an injury while fielding. Bennett did a Ringrose and deselected himself for the next match, joining the forlorn Reay, Taylor and Deepak in a pitch side sanatorium. With the scheduled Captain Reay also out of action, the responsibility for masterminding an NRR-boosting thrashing of the Theatrical Cavaliers fell to Goldstein. All was not lost, but a handsome victory in their next match was imperative …
Click here to read what happened!
[Written by Nick Bennett]
